Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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