Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
