All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
