Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Randomize
