Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
