i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
