So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
