8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
