you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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