no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
