You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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