ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
