Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
