Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
