I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
