I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
