We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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