Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
