The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
