carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
