She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
