so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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