Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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