I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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