Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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