I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
