Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
