i think i have herpe
just one?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
