I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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