eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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