is your mom at the bar?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
