My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
