I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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