dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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