TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
