i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
