I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
