There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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