they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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