i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
