theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
