He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
