are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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