member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
