I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
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