Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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