Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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