I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
