apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
They took my balls.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
