Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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