Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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