those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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