End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i out mim tonsoeep
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