At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
